Cheese, Please: A Cook's Story

THE RECIPE

Greens with Gorgonzola Dressing

Giada De Laurentiis, Everyday Pasta

Ingredients

¼ cup creamy Gorgonzola cheese (about 2 ounces)

¼ cup milk

2 tablespoons sour cream

½ garlic clove minced

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon freshly ground pepper

10 ounces bibb, iceberg, or Romaine lettuce in bite-size pieces (about 6 cups)

A COOK’S STORY

Note to readers: I’d like to thank This Cook for allowing me to share my story on her site. I hope to cure my cheese-obsession by writing it out loud. And please forgive me if I’m not as entertaining as her…I apologize in advance.

Giada’s Gorgonzola dressing is my husband’s favorite. I first made it back in June as part of his birthday dinner. I haven’t had it since then. Once I found out I was pregnant, it was no longer an option for me. But still, I make it once a week for him. He always smiles. He thinks it’s a sign of how much I care about him, how much I love him that I still cook things I can’t eat myself for him. Just yesterday as we sat down to dinner, he took my hand and said, don’t worry honey, only another month and you can eat anything you want. That’s when I knew I had to get this out. I can no longer keep this forbidden cheese-mance a secret.

I remember his birthday so well. I had spent the morning cleaning the house and preparing for dinner. I was not looking forward to a trip to the grocery store, but I went.

And that’s where all this trouble began. In the cheese department. I just had to make that Gorgonzola recipe. I don’t even really like Gorgonzola. But I knew he did. So of course I was going to make it for his birthday. I’m browsing the wedges, looking for the smallest one, when I hear his voice, “Can I help you with something ma’am.”

No one calls me Ma’am. I looked up to protest but before I could get the words out of my mouth it was all over. I had fallen in love with the cheese man.

Of course we haven’t acted on our shared impulses. And believe you, me, they are shared. I can tell by the way he carefully wraps my selections every week. From the way he sometimes let’s his hand graze mine as he passes me my cheese. The world moves in slow motion when I push my cart over to his cheese counter and we make eye contact over the blocks of Cheddar and Manchego. The Taleggio and Brie.

Oh cheese man, I don’t even know your name. I’m too shy to ask you yours or share mine. I know I’m fat and pregnant now. But I still lust after you. And I use my husband and his love of Giada’s dressing to be in your presence every week. To feed my uncontrollable need to be around you. I feel like a teacher in a scandalous love affair with her under age student—the Mary Kay Letourneau of the cheese section. After all you must be no more than 20…maybe 21? And I am a ripe old 36. The shame!

My baby is due in just a few short weeks. My time in your cheese menagerie is limited. I know once I give birth, I can no longer indulge in this cheese obsession. I must cut you out of my life. You and your wheels of Gorgonzola. If you are reading this cheese man---I bid you farewell!

And Giada, damn you, for creating this dairy sized monster of desire inside of me.

Oh and for you, readers, this recipe is quick, easy and delicious. But, let this, my story of dairy-woe be a cautionary tale about the dangers that can befall you anywhere---even the cheese department.