The Red Velvet DOW: The Saga Continues, A Cook's Story

A Note from This Cook to her readers: After I heard how The Great Cake War of 2010 was escalating I decided that it was not a good idea to continue to allow the employees of Paltivac Paper to post on this site. I didn’t want to encourage childish office politics. However, you, my readers, have repeatedly requested an update, so against my better judgment I’m allowing them to post again. Here it is…

THE RECIPE

Red Velvet Cake

STILL a Private Recipe

A COOK’S STORY

To the thief or thieves that stole our cake (again),

After our official Declaration of War (DOW), the office kitchen was quiet. At first we thought maybe the whole incident would blow over. When we did not receive a replacement cake by March 12^th we decided to be the bigger person and drop the whole issue. Several weeks went by and we assumed that this whole issue was put to bed. We even began to feel a bit immature for posting our DOW online and for making such a big deal out of such a trivial cake-based issue. After all, it was just a cake.

And then…THIS:

This was posted on Monday, March 29^th. The fact that it was posted weeks after our DOW has brought us to a few conclusions:

· You are truly immature, mean spirited and volatile. Clearly, while we had been thinking this whole thing was a misunderstanding, you had been simmering, biding your time and planning your attack. Callous.

· You are stupid. We feel that the length between our DOW and your posting of this sick ransom note indicates not just the above about you, but that you were potentially too bogged down by work to do anything sooner. This is a helpful clue into which company on our floor you are…

· Justice must prevail. We cannot sit idly by while someone we share a communal space with makes the decision to act so irresponsibly and unprofessionally.

· You are even more stupid to think we’d EVER even contemplate leaving cupcakes out for you. Cupcakes---the most sacred of baked goods. Plus, we don’t make cupcakes, we buy them from Sugar Sweet Sunshine, the BEST cupcake place in Manhattan. They look like this:

Want some? Too bad we had them in the office all day today but kept them hidden and away from your corrupt hands. Your stupidity humors us.

Remedies Left to Restore Peace

· NONE

Game on. We are currently regrouping with our forces and when we choose to attack, our wrath will be felt. You have been warned.

Signed,

The Paltivac Paper Collective, 332 Winter Street, 4^th Floor